Why I Pause Before Using Rewards

Like most teachers, I use rewards in my classroom.

When the room is loud.
When transitions fall apart.
When I am tired, behind, or unsure what to try next.

Rewards are familiar. They feel concrete. They promise quick relief in overwhelming moments.

And to be clear, I don’t think rewards are bad. They can acknowledge effort and support routines. I have used them, and I still do. What I’m trying to do now is use them less automatically and more intentionally.

One reason I’ve been pausing more comes from graduate coursework and professional learning conversations. We talked about how rewards can quietly change why students do the right thing. I remember a discussion about recognizing students for being quiet in the hallway with a small token or entry into a prize system. The intention was positive. But the goal of quiet hallways isn’t the reward. It’s respect, safety, and care for shared space.

The reward shifts the focus from how we move together to what I get.

When rewards are regularly attached to behaviors students could feel good about on their own, the quiet pride of doing something well can be replaced by the expectation of earning something.

I also think about inclusion. Rewards tend to cluster. Some students receive them repeatedly because their behavior already fits school expectations. Others are rewarded in ways that frame them as problems to be fixed. And some students who consistently show care and responsibility go largely unnoticed.

I’ve also noticed that rewards can replace conversations we actually need to have. When behavior becomes about earning or losing something, it’s easy to skip the why. What skill is missing? What is hard here? What does this student need?

Pausing doesn’t mean I always have a better answer. Often, I don’t. It means I’m choosing to sit with the discomfort and ask whether there’s a skill to teach, a relationship to strengthen, or a moment of repair to prioritize.

For me, this pause is about trying to choose teaching over managing.

My goal isn’t to eliminate rewards. It’s to rely on them less, especially when students need understanding, instruction, or connection.

This is not something I’ve mastered. It’s something I’m still practicing.

Here is a reflection tool I use to slow down before defaulting to rewards: https://www.holdingspaceforlearning.com/s/Before-We-Use-a-Reward-System.pdf