The Lesson I Didn't Plan to Teach

A few months ago, during an observation, one of my first graders announced to the room, "Mrs. Van Beusekom messes up a lot."

No teacher wants to hear that while someone is observing their lesson. For a split second, I felt embarrassed. But he wasn't trying to embarrass me. He was simply telling the truth.

My students see my mistakes every day.

I lose things... a lot. I forget things. Sometimes I lose my patience. Sometimes I don't respond the way I wish I had. Sometimes I forget a promise I made. Sometimes I realize later that I owe someone an apology. I'm human.

I had a choice in that moment. I could have brushed his comment aside. I could have corrected him. I could have made the conversation about whether what he said was rude.

Instead, I smiled.

"You're right," I said. "I do make mistakes. That's part of learning. Grown ups are still learning too."

And we kept learning.

If I had focused on my own embarrassment, I think I would have taught my students that mistakes are something to hide. Something to be embarrassed by. Something to be ashamed of.

Mistakes aren't something to hide. They're evidence that we're still learning.

Our students aren't expecting perfection. They're watching what we do after we make a mistake. Do we get defensive? Do we pretend it didn't happen? Or do we own it, repair it when we can, and keep going?

Our students are going to make mistakes. They'll lose their tempers. Forget promises. Hurt someone's feelings. They'll have moments they wish they could do over. I hope they'll remember the adults they trusted saying, "I was wrong." "I'm sorry." "Thank you for pointing that out." "Let's try that again."

Children don't learn that mistakes are okay because we tell them they are. They learn by watching how we respond to our own.